How do I help someone who drinks too much?
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You can’t make someone stop, but you can make it easier for them to get help, and get help for yourself. Talk when they’re sober, say what you’ve seen without labels, and point them to free, confidential help like SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357. Al-Anon, at 888-425-2666, is for you.
Watching a parent, partner or friend drink too much is exhausting, and it’s easy to swing between saying nothing and saying everything at once. A steadier approach is easier on everyone: specific, kind, and backed by a plan for what to do next.
What we’d do
Pick a calm moment. Say what you’ve noticed and how it affects you, in plain facts (“You fell asleep at dinner three times this month”), and what you’d like (“Would you see the doctor with me?”). Have the helpline number and a doctor’s appointment ready. Then look after yourself, whatever they decide.
How to help
- Know the options. NIAAA’s Alcohol Treatment Navigator is built to help adults find treatment “for themselves or an adult loved one.” Treatment includes three approved medicines, counseling and mutual-support groups, and NIAAA says most people with alcohol problems can cut back or quit.
- Offer the kind of support people say helps. NIAAA’s Rethinking Drinking suggests that someone cutting back ask friends and family to stop offering them alcohol, not drink around them, give support and hold back criticism, and not pile on new demands. You can offer those before you’re asked.
- Family counseling works. NIAAA lists marital and family counseling among the behavioral treatments that “can be very effective.”
Know the safety lines
- Withdrawal. If they drink heavily every day, they should stop with a doctor’s help, because withdrawal can become dangerous. MedlinePlus says it “may quickly become life-threatening.”
- Overdose. Call 911 if someone who’s been drinking is confused, can’t stay awake or be woken, is vomiting, has a seizure, or is breathing slowly or irregularly. NIAAA warns it’s dangerous to assume an unconscious person will sleep it off.
Help for you
Living with someone’s drinking takes a toll, and there are groups for exactly that:
- Al-Anon Family Groups, 888-425-2666
- Adult Children of Alcoholics, 310-534-1815
- SMART Recovery Family and Friends, 440-951-5357
If you can’t stop has the full list of helplines and programs, and Am I drinking too much? has the three questions doctors use, if they’re open to checking.
7 sources
- National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, Alcohol Treatment Navigatoralcoholtreatment.niaaa.nih.gov
- National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, Rethinking Drinking, Helpful Links and Resourcesrethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov
- National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, Rethinking Drinking, Social Support from Friends and Familyrethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov
- National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, Rethinking Drinking, Professional Supportrethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov
- National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, Treatment for Alcohol Problems: Finding and Getting Help, updated February 2025niaaa.nih.gov
- National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, Understanding the Dangers of Alcohol Overdose, updated December 2025niaaa.nih.gov
- MedlinePlus, Alcohol withdrawal, reviewed January 1, 2025medlineplus.gov
